I'm fifteen, my name is farah, I have long light brown wavy hair, and hazel brown eyes, that cried all night, I've just been strong for too long now. three years ago my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer having to deal with this and seeing her go through the pain everyday was heartbreaking for me. but before that I went through a phase where I started to hurt myself trying to commit suicide, I never felt loved..I felt worthless and a piece of shit. Its like this planet is fine, its just the people that are fucked.
you see my dog is the only thing that listens to me and doesn't judge me, he's always there for me whenever I need him. he walks in when the whole world walks out on me. sometimes I feel like I don't have anyone there for me, like everyone hates me, like they'd rather have me dead then alive, i feel so worthless sometimes...but whatever who cares right?
i sat there crying like there was no tomorrow, i started listening to the song that was playing on my ipod..."fucking perfect" by p!nk. i was amazed by how much this song describes me...that's how the song goes...
"Made a wrong turn
once or twice.
Dug my way out,
blood and fire.
Bad decisions,
that's alright.
Welcome to my silly life.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood!
Miss "No way,It's all good", it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated!
Look, I'm still around...
Pretty pretty please!
Don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, fucking perfect
Pretty pretty please
If you ever ever feel like you're nothing you're fucking perfect to me.
You're so mean
When you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head
Make them like you instead
So complicated, look how we all make it!
Filled with so much hatred... such a tired game
It's enough! I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same."
It made me think of all the times I've hurt myself, and all the times I've starved myself, all the times I've been walked all over, I couldn't handle it and ran down to the hall and into the bathroom.
I got in and locked the door, as my dad tried to open the door...I've been always scared of my dad i don't like him nor does he like me. I've been abused by my dad since I was in second grade. I've never felt like I actually have a father he was never there for me, he never made me feel like daddy's little girl...but fuck him.
I pulled open the last drawer next to the bathtub, and pulled out a blade..till heavy, dark, red blood started to run out of my wrists as I slit them.
